Thursday, March 13, 2008
Thoughts at Dawn
I was greeted by a blazing dawn this morning. It stopped me in my tracks. I took a moment to stand in the back of Silk’s stall, drinking my coffee and listening to the horses eat their hay.
This has been a rough winter. It’s not entirely over yet. Even if the weather stays mild, I have a few more personal storms to ride in the next few weeks. I started thinking about how sometimes I try to go around the flooding waters, even though I know there’s no other path that will work. I will just have to slog through even if I’m afraid it might drown me.
It reminded me of a time years ago when I was having trouble with Silk. I was convinced that she was more horse than I could handle. In fact, I was afraid of her. I tried to find another path by looking for someone to buy her. I really wanted to feel that Silk would be safe and well-treated wherever she would end up. After struggling with the problem for several months, I came to the realization that I had to work through my fears and keep this horse. Of course, it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Giving up, going around it, pretending that everything is fine are no longer options in my life. My horses have taught me that lesson. Often, the worst problems are really my greatest gifts in disguise.