Sunday, March 9, 2008
Yesterday was not a good day. We got two inches of rain in about two hours, and the barn flooded. I was soaked to the bone three times trying to drain the stalls while the horses huddled in the corner. No time to bail anything, no one to help me. I emptied two bags of wood pellet horse bedding into the water as it was oozing up. It was all I could do.
Then, the sky opened up again and dumped another two inches of water on us. Let’s just say it was the dark night of my soul. The wind roared and wailed. I tried not to think about what was going on in the barn. Every direction my mind took led me to bleak places I didn’t want to go. Finally, I realized that in that very moment, worrying about all the things that were wrong in my life wouldn’t change any of them. All it would do was make me feel worse. The horses don’t worry about what is going to happen tomorrow, do they? The one thing that I knew was that right now, there was a spot in the back of each stall where Silk and Siete could stand and be dry. I took some comfort in that.
The sun was shining this morning. Miraculously, the stalls didn’t flood again overnight. I went to see my “hay man”, and he had gorgeous second cut at a most reasonable price. He promised to deliver 50 bales to me tomorrow. The horses were so happy to run around when I turned them out. I didn’t even mind shoveling out the heavy wet muck created by the dissolved wood pellets and the poopy water.
Now, with aching arms, I’m contemplating how much better life looks than it did twenty-four hours ago. Even as I poured the wood pellets into the disgusting brown ooze yesterday, I knew that if I could just keep slogging through it, I would reach the point where I am right now. And even now, I know that there will be moments ahead that are bound to be as dark as the ones I just experienced. So, for the time being, I am going to be happy and practice “il bel far niente”, which in Italian means “the beauty of doing nothing”.