This has been a challenging week for me. Every day, there seemed to be a small, specific drama that needed my full attention and totally took me away from whatever I had planned to do to keep my life and work moving in the direction that I had set for myself.
My mom, my daughter, my husband and the puppy were all pulling at me so I felt like my arms and legs were stretched out as far as they could go in each direction. At the same time, I was so tired that I couldn’t wait to throw myself into bed each night. Everything was annoying -- from waiting in line for hay for 45 minutes at the farm only to find that the horse trailers in front of me took all the second cut this week to Stella grabbing the reading glasses that I bought my husband for Christmas and chewing them to bits. Listening to the news, the ugly politics and fighting didn't help restore my balance. It felt like the whole world was having a hissy fit. So as much as I hate to do it, I ignored everyone else's problems. It was just one of those weeks to test my patience.
As usual, the only place that I felt like I could find peace was in the barn. Silk and Siete had no complaints for me. They were content to have their necks scratched or just stand at my side and be okay. Horses have no “inner voices” reminding them that they are not trying hard enough or doing what they are supposed to do. They tune into energy, reading the “Qi” ( or “Chi”) that is all around and inside of them. It’s almost as if we human beings are at polar opposites from them. We pride ourselves on our mastery of words and our brains’ abilities to solve problems. We think to an excess, and our daily activities are constantly buzzing with sound and information.
My escapes with the horses gave me an opportunity to notice the angle of the light on the trees and the way that the days are starting to get longer. The silence out there allows me to find a spaciousness inside of myself where I can just stop thinking and be. How lucky I am to have such a powerful retreat just outside my back door. Now, I just need to find a way to carry that feeling around with me throughout my day.
“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.”
John Muir
7 comments:
Carrying that feeling throughout the day truly is the challenge.
There is something to be said for energy, chi, and horses. They can refuel you when you need it the most.
You had quite a week!
This is exactly why there is a path worn down to red clay from my back door to the barn. :)
I am glad you are so attuned to the special silence of a barn as your horses munch hay. May we all learn to live within life's pace. Or is it peace?
Horse are my salve during our stressful times around here as well.
This week I just fed, but being in their silence was unbelievably sustaining.
Funny how we don't notice how noisy the world is until we are with horses, isn't it?
Sorry to hear you had such a miserable week. I hope your knuckles aren't dragging on the ground from all the pulling and stretching!
Horses always seem to ground us don't they? They show no judgement but simply want to be with us no matter what is happening. I'm glad you had Silk and Siete to help you through this week. Hope it gets better.
That is beautifully expressed. I am sorry that you have had one of those weeks. I hope you do internalise the silence of your horses. They are indeed a retreat.
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