Life Part 2 begins today.
I’m sitting home alone, my trusty sidekick Stella at my feet, Silk and
Siete eating hay in the pasture and Velcro curled up on the ledge of the
kitchen window. This is how it’s going
to be for a while until I figure out what to do next. We loaded up the car yesterday, drove an hour
and a half to take our daughter to college, settled her into a cozy dorm room
and came home to a very quiet house. Then, very early this morning, I dropped
my husband off, and he went to work out of town on a gig for the rest of the
week. I have a plan, with friends and a
good support system of neighbors to keep me company, but it still feels really
weird.
My daughter and my mother have been the bookends and focus
of my life for so many years, and suddenly they are both gone. I’m at peace with my mom’s death. After all
the early tumultuous years, we had a wonderful time in the end of her life full of appreciation and loving, and
she died without a moment of pain or suffering. She experienced the joy with me
and my husband of guiding her only grandchild into being a delightful,
confident young woman. And this daughter of mine is everything and more that we
ever hoped she would be. So, even though
I feel a bit hollow right now, I have not one ounce of regret, and I know how
lucky I am to be able to say that.
For now, I will turn my attention to teaching the
dog to walk calmly on a leash, grooming the horses so they don’t look so shaggy
and picking up a paintbrush to see what comes out next. I feel like for now, I’m standing in perfect balance
at the center of a teeter-totter. I’m going to concentrate on enjoying life in
my little safe haven because I know that at any moment, something might come
hurtling in to disrupt this delicate equilibrium. I intend to take this twinkling
of grace and savor it while I can.
11 comments:
Beautiful post and pictures Victoria. We have done our jobs and now it's time for our little birdies to spread their wings and fly solo for a bit!
Thanks, Susan. I know they will come back to the nest when they need it. And they will soar on their own.
May your "twinkling of grace" become a waterfall of joy....
That sounds like a good plan.
Lovely post. I'm sure your family will come through this new adjustment period with flying colors. Your daughter begins college and will find out how it is to be an adult in a world different from what she's known. And I'm sure you will find new and interesting things to challenge you each day. The time will fly by as it always does and she will be home for visits soon.
Love that, D. Thanks!
Thanks, RH and Arlene - I got thru Day One just fine. I think it's all good and I'm very lucky.
I know how hard and how joyous it is to launch a child into the world! Next year this time my daughter will head out and I'm not sure what I'm going to do when it's just me and 13 amazing animals here during the days.
This is when I wish that some of my blogging friends lived on the lane. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all have a daily coffee date in the middle of all this adjustment? :)
Sending a hug for you and huge congratulations to your daughter.
Billie, don't I wish that we all "lived on the lane" and could hang out together! Thanks, I remember how it was last year when your son left. At least I'm getting a couple of texts from her each day, like a daily report. No homesickness, only excitement and fun.
The circle of life...we just keep moving ahead. I like to remind myself of this with that old saying, "to experience beginnings, we must have endings". This is finally a time for you. Hope you enjoy it!
I like that saying! Thanks
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