Time to Re-Balance

I watched Silk and Siete eat their breakfast this morning, and my mind was full of “I should have’s”. Mostly, my thoughts centered on my battle to keep the endless mud off of their legs and hooves. I washed their muddy paws yesterday, but I could see that I probably ought to have another go at make their socks white again today. Silk had little abscesses in three of her hooves earlier this week. I ran out of Animalintex so I didn’t poultice them last night, and I wondered if I should have. For most of the month of December, I was running a litany in my head of all the things that I didn’t get around to doing. Then, I got really sick.

There’s a flu/cold virus that is sweeping across our town, and after three years of being healthy, I caught it bad. For several weeks, I told myself that I could kick it without antibiotics, but I knew that my energy level just wasn’t strong enough. I finally gave and went to the doctor. The meds were so strong that they cured the sinus infection but really upset my stomach. I did what I had to do. After taking pills for ten days, I’m glad to report that I'm so much better that my whole outlook on life has brightened again.

At the same time, I knew that this was a powerful message for me to take the time as we move into 2012 to re-balance myself. I need more time being silent and alone with my horses. I have two goals, one small and one quite large, that haven’t been achieved yet. It is so easy to just tell myself that they don’t matter or that it’s too much work to make them happen. Recently, I’ve sort of put my dreams on hold and in doing that, temporarily lost the will to persevere. I’m not going to beat myself up over this. There was a detour this year where I went down a path that wasn’t working for me. I’m thankful that I had the strength and understanding to stop and turn around. As soon as I did, I was given a wonderful gift of a new video camera that has sent me off in a very challenging and exciting direction. So, as we enter the new year, and the antibiotics clear the fog from my brain, I’m receiving little sparks of inspiration and I’ve dusted off those dreams so I can get them back on their feet again.

I also vowed not to worry about my horses so much. This weather is so weird with temperatures as low as 6 degrees one night and then back up into the 50’s two days later. No wonder Silk got the abscesses. The ground went from muddy to frozen hard moon craters overnight. Rather than jump to dire conclusions about all the other things that could be wrong with my senior horse, I told myself that it was lucky to just be abscesses, which I know how to fix. I assured Silk that she would be running around again in no time.

Tonight, as I brought out the buckets at dinnertime, Silkie trotted eagerly across the pasture to her stall with no sign of distress. Score one for thinking positive and taking care of what needed to be done. Now, if I can just keep that up for the rest of 2012…..