Saturday, May 31, 2008
It's Okay to Just Be Okay
Yesterday, nothing went wrong all day. I’m learning to appreciate just getting through the day without anything significant happening. For some unknown reason, Silk didn’t itch her belly or seem bothered by bugs. Siete was a fine and happy little horse. Inside our house, things were normal. The sun was shining, and the temperature was balmy. The hay and grass tasted good. Horses and people were all fine.
These no-drama days would have seemed boring to me when I was younger. Now, I welcome them. I enjoy just following the routine without any annoyances or cause for concern. In fact, I relish it. I know that this easy rhythm can be disrupted in a flash. I try not to wish for more or worry about what I can’t control. I don’t berate myself for tasks that are left un-done.
This acceptance of the day-to-day sameness is completely natural to the horses. They don’t wake up worrying about whether everything is going to be okay today. I have to admit that I always breathe easier when I am greeted by two eager horse heads poking out of the top half of the doors of the barn as I come out to feed the girls each morning. We all made it safely through the night. Let’s hope it will be another uneventful day. It gives me the space to remember who I really am and just be. It grounds me when things eventually do get hectic or the going gets rough. Of course, living with my 93-year old mother and my 13-year old dog color my perception, but it is all a delicate balance.
When I was growing up in a small town in the Midwest, my parents’ routine life drove me crazy. I couldn't wait to leave and go somewhere more exciting. These days, I only hope that I can give my daughter the gift of stability and contentment that was reliably there to come home to whenever I needed it.
We always want more, don’t we? We spend our lives pushing ourselves to the next level and feeling frustrated if it doesn’t happen fast enough. Some days, we scramble just to keep all the balls up in the air. Left to their own choices, I’ve never seen my horses do that. If I’m going to be part of this herd, I’ve got to learn that it’s okay to just be okay.
“What we’re all doing is we’re all managing gracefully.”
Sylvia Boorstein, "It's Easier Than You Think"