Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Moment for Peonies


The peonies have opened. It might be grey and raining here in New England, but that didn’t stop them. I remember growing up in the Midwest and being given the important job of watering the peonies every night after the sun set. We had a huge, thick display of them, running across about 100 feet of the backyard. Even as an eight year old, I loved their lush petals and intense perfume. I would carefully aim the hose near the ground so I didn’t damage any of the delicate flowers. The wet grass was cool on my bare toes.

Deep red to almost white, they were my mother's pride and joy. The light pink petals glowed in the dark green, some of them stroked with thin stripes of magenta. Now, in her 95th year, my mother is still delighting in this summer's peonies. She is very protective of them, cutting the stems and arranging them in vases that belonged to both of my grandmothers. We don’t have as many peonies here in our yard as there were in hers, but I hope to add more over the years to come.

I am reminded of Mary Oliver’s wonderful poem, “Peonies”. Here’s the part I like the best:

“the flowers bend their bright bodies,
and tip their fragrance to the air,
and rise,
their red stems holding

all that dampness and recklessness
gladly and lightly,
and there it is again ---
beauty the brave, the exemplary,

blazing open,
Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass with its terror beneath?

Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden,
and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,

with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling,
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are
nothing, forever?”

I love Mary Oliver almost as much as I love peonies.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Glorious Days to be Sick


I staggered out to the barn this morning after being sick with a miserable flu for the past six days. The minute the horses saw me, they came racing across the pasture. It did my heart good. I’m still not ready to leap into blogging - give me a couple more days. But I did want to tell you all that I miss you and look forward to visiting you as soon as I can focus on a computer screen. This has been a whopper!

I missed so many days of gorgeous weather. The irises are in full bloom. Peonies are ready to dazzle next. Silk is moping. It’s always amazing to me how fresh and remarkable the world looks after emerging from a darkened bedroom. I’m still coughing and wobbling but it sure felt good to get some horsey kisses.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Happy Birthday, Siete!


Siete is 7, and I can tell it’s going to be a great year for her. I decided to list seven characteristics that make her the irresistible little girl that she is:

1. Loving - can’t get enough hugs and kisses
2. Fearless - never spooks, can stand next to a noisy chain saw and ignore it
3. Sensitive - responds to anything instantly
4. Challenging -ready to stand on her own two feet - notice I said two not four
5. Devoted - to her mother, to my husband, to my daughter, but not to me yet
6. Hungry - an equine vacuum
7. Joyful - a happy bright spirit

Happy Birthday, sweet horse, you are our spunky shining star!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Here I Am


I’m sorry I haven’t been spending any time in the blogosphere this past week. Losing Pepper brought up for me the realities of our impermanence on this earth, and it has been a difficult but important time for me. Both our cats got sick this week. Our old black kitty has hyper-thyroid disease. Velcro,our orange cat who was raised by our dog, is so stressed out from missing Pepper that he developed a block in his urinary tract. So, I’ve been back to the vet much more than I’ve wanted to go. They’ve been really great to us though, so I’m grateful for that.

The horses are missing my attention. Silk developed a few sores from the Cashel fly mask she’s been wearing. I don’t recommend them and I am going to buy her one of the Farnam double-closure masks with ears that I have for Siete. With the long weekend, I intend to spend a lot of time in the barn, and hopefully, on horseback. I think I need a good dose of loving from my girls.

And some time tomorrow morning visiting all of you at your blogs to catch up. I’ve missed you!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Love In Loss

I am so grateful for your kind and compassionate comments. They are really helping me get through this incredibly difficult time of grieving. There’s a huge hole in our lives right now where Pepper lived so gracefully. Every time I turn around, I am reminded of her. Siete has really stepped up to offer me some strong emotional support. I don’t think I’ve been this upset since my father died. For 14 years, Pepper has been my constant companion, especially in the difficult moments when I needed a soft furry doggo buddy to hold and to offer me love.
A friend sent me this quote yesterday and I wanted to share it with you.

Thanks to all of you for your understanding and support.

"To live a meaningful life, each of us must step outside the familiar, confining walls of ego defenses and enter our own wilderness, our own charnel ground, to face honestly the truth of impermanence and loss. In the strange cemetery of imagination, mourning ourselves, we suddenly stumble upon what’s most essential. Facing loss, we find love."

–Lorne Ladner, from The Lost Art of Compassion (HarperSanFrancisco)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Pepper, We Will Always Love You



Our beloved dog, Pepper died yesterday. She was 14 years old. Her mother was a black lab, her father was a springer spaniel and Pepper was 100% Angel. Words cannot express how much we all miss her.



Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Message to My Daughter


Hold On
Hold on to what is good,
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
Hold on to your life,
Even if it's easier to let go.
Hold on to my hand,
Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.

A Pueblo Indian Prayer