Calmness Prevails

Everything was back to normal today. Siete behaved like a perfect little horse. I would like to thank everyone for your kind notes of sympathy. We’ll never know if Siete was reacting to my friend’s spirit as she passed through and came to say goodbye to me. I guess I’ll always believe that was what happened.

At one point this morning, I walked past the window and looked out at the horses in the pasture. They were positioned with Siete facing east and Silk facing west right out in the middle of the snow blanket. Two Zen statues, welcoming the sun. I stopped to snap a photo and appreciate their stillness.

“It seems that we are humbled before the great events of life. Events over which we have no power, no influence. Events that do not play fair. To be humbled like this is not meant to be punishment, but rather Death grooming us to awaken.”
Stephanie Erickson, Companion Through the Darkness

The Temper Tantrum

I was going to put the horses in the pasture as usual. It got down to below 10F degrees last night, so the ground froze. Then, it snowed almost an inch. They were waiting in the front corral, staring at white blanket that covered yesterday’s little blades of grass.

I followed my usual routine. First, I told them to go to their stalls, and they raced right in to stand at attention. Then, I closed the stall doors. Silk always goes out first. Siete comes back in from the pasture ahead of her mother. I try to be fair. Today, as I put on Silk’s halter, Siete had a temper tantrum.

I couldn’t believe it. My little horse was rearing and bucking and squealing in her stall. I thought she was going to hurt herself. It was really scary. For a moment, I considered taking her out first to avoid possible injuries. I knew that Silk wouldn’t mind if she wen t second. However, that would be rewarding this outrageous behavior.

What I really wanted to do most was go back into the house, crawl into my bed and pull the covers over my head. Instead, I told Siete in my deepest, firmest voice to “QUIT”. I led Silk calmly to the pasture while Siete continued to buck, rear and charge around in her stall. My biggest fear was that she would try to blast through the closed door. Fortunately, she didn’t, but in the five minutes it took me to settle her mother behind the locked gate, the little horse caused a big uproar.

I decided to just approach her as I did every other day. She stuck her nose over the door and let me put on the halter. I had my clicker and my treats, so I stepped inside and began doing the lowering her head exercise. She immediately settled into it, doing what I asked. Lowering a horse’s head causes her adrenaline to slow down. I also know that a horse can’t rear with its head down. I completely focused on the task at hand. Once we were distracted by the clicker and the treats, I began to lead her out of her stall.

Other than prancing and snorting, Siete let me lead her to the gate. Suddenly, Silk charged at us, causing Siete to get excited again. I made her circle around me a couple of times and told Silk not to give me any trouble. I motioned to her to go away and she ran to the closed end of the gate. I didn’t know if I could open it without Silk trying to run out, but I took a deep breath. The worst thing would be if she charged again and I got caught between them. I always turn the horse so she faces me while I close the gate and then unclip the lead rope. Going along with the idea that I would just continue as if things were normal, I opened the gate and led Siete inside. I wished I could lunge her, but it was just too icy. Silk just stood and watched us.

Once I set her free and stepped outside, I expected mayhem. Instead, each horse found her own pile of hay and began eating.

I stood watching them and considered how it used to be when I boarded them at a stable. If I had been feeling the way I felt today, I probably wouldn’t have gone over to see the horses. I would have chosen the "going back to bed and hiding under the covers" option. Having them in my backyard means that no matter what, I am going to interact with Silk and Siete at least three or four times a day. I can’t avoid anything. And I have to admit, it makes me a stronger person.

(This post is dedicated to my dear friend, Pat H. We’ve been buddies for 32 years, and just as Siete was blowing up this morning, Pat passed away. I almost didn’t finish this post tonight, but I knew that she would have wanted me to because she wasn’t a quitter. I’m really going to miss her.)

Countdown to Spring

It’s only 23 days until Spring officially arrives - March 20th. We did see a hint of it today. Silk and Siete were out in the pasture. I was filling water buckets in the barn when I heard this strange noise. “Schlush, schlush, schlush…”

There was Silk in the middle of the snow, digging with her hoof. Suddenly, her nose was down in the snow, and she was burrowing frantically, Siete stopped eating hay and ran over to investigate. The two of them were nose to nose in the snow. My curiosity got the better of me. I had to join them.

OMG! There were the tiniest little blades of new green grass coming up under the snow. The girls were gobbling them up, and who could blame them? What can I say, it made our day.

The Extinction Burst

As I learned about Clicker Training, I discovered something known as the “extinction response”. It’s a term used in “operant conditioning”, which is the behavioral method on which all this clicking and treating is based. Once a horse has learned to respond to a behavior in the desired manner, receiving a treat, the positive reinforcement is delayed or removed. The question then becomes whether the horse will try again, in hopes of getting the treat. Ideally, they will increase the desired behavior with what is known as an “extinction burst”, and their extra effort will bring about even more of the desired response. If they are rewarded at that point, it will teach them that there is an advantage to not giving up too easily.

For example, if a person is trapped in a room and can't open the door, one last push of effort might be enough to unstick the door. If a horse is cantering half-heartedly, waiting for the click and not getting it, the horse might speed up with extra energy to try to get rewarded with the treat.

So, today has just been one of those really grindingly difficult days. I was frustrated and rejected and didn’t get the golden ring on the merry-go-round. I am faced with a choice. I could give up and move on, or I could dig in my heels and push harder. It would be my version of the “extinction burst”.

The only way I could make this kind of decision was to go to the barn. I discussed it with Silk and Siete, as the rain poured down on the snow, and we all hoped it wouldn’t flood the stalls. I remembered my motto, “Persistence always pays off.” I went back in the house to lick my wounds and gather my “windhorse energy”. Tomorrow, I’ll muster up my “extinction burst”. It is February, after all, and this is the coldest and darkest before we can begin to grow again.

A Measure of Spirit

It’s a brilliantly blue day, with snow and ice melting in the warm sun. Silk is being Zen horse again, but Siete bounces back and forth along the pasture fence looking for somewhere to put all her pent-up energy. My arms still ache from shoveling the heavy snow. My brain is a bit fuzzy and lazy, ready to hibernate for a few more weeks until Spring arrives. I stood in Silk’s stall and watched Siete prancing in the snow. She’s frustrated that it’s too deep and icy stiff to really run across to the pine trees on the other side of the smooth, shimmering white carpet.

Siete’s got a stronger spirit than I do. It’s not the first time that I’ve felt this way. When she was only a few weeks old, I was in her corral, and she spun around and kicked me on my thumb. I was shocked that my loving, adorable filly would turn on me. Cowboy Joe, her godfather and trainer, warned me, “She’s going to test you every day. Watch how her mom handles her. Remember, every little thing you do teaches her something new.” For a while, I wondered if I was ready to take on that big an assignment. Once I realized that there were no deadlines, I decided I was up for the challenge. I believe that I can guide her without having to damage her strength.

Today, Siete reminds me of the impatience and ambition I had when I was young. My own daughter, at age 12, mirrors our little horse with that slightly reckless and optimistic attitude. Siete wanted to run free, even though her good sense prevailed. Mama Silk stood in the sun, contented and wise enough to know that you simply enjoy each moment as you can without wishing for what it’s not. After all, tomorrow, it’s going to snow and rain again.

The Zen Horse

Silk is a Zen horse. She finds a spot in the sun and just goes into a trance. I was wondering if horses can sleep with their eyes open. After doing some research, I learned that they can not. Knowing Silk, I believe that she is meditating.

Horses have a system called “the stay apparatus” which allows them to lock their legs in a position that lets them relax their muscles without falling over. When I meditate, I find the greatest challenge is to sit still for long periods of time. Silk is my role model. Today, she stood in the corral, facing the wildlife preserve behind our property. With the warm sun on her back, she meditated for much of the afternoon. At one point, her daughter came and stood next to her, back hoof cocked just like mom’s. Siete didn’t last long, but Silk continued her “practice”, never even glancing at her.

Lama Surya Das believes that meditation in itself is a wakening up. “The Bodhisattva is the Awakener who, while coming into fuller consciousness, has begun the process of awakening others as well from the deep sleep of separateness, delusion and confusion.” Maybe I have a four-legged Bodhisattva living in my backyard.

Less Is So Much More

My friend, Grey Horse Matters sent me a beautiful video of trainer Stacey Westfall riding her horse bareback without a bridle or reins at the Quarter Horse Congress. You can go to Stacey’s website, westfallhorsemanship.com to see a video of her performing. It is awe-inspiring to watch communication between a human and a horse at that level. There was so much love that it overflowed into the whole stadium full of people.

The horse is unbelieveably relaxed and calm,so completely absorbed in Stacey that thousands of screaming fans don’t distract it in any way. I thought about Tom Dorrance , one of my favorite cowboy trainers. He talked about how important it is to calm the inward part of the horse. Many trainers only work on the surface, at the mental and physical levels, not getting right down to what’s really going on inside the horse. “No one is going to get this without it coming right out of the inside of themselves. The rest of it has to come from inside the horse.” We’re talking about Spirit and self-preservation. “A person’s approach can assure the horse that he can have self-preservation and still respond to what the person is asking him to do.” Dorrance said.

Billie, over at camera-obscura wisely mentioned to me that people have a tendency to be too loud around their horses. Take it down a few notches and they listen better. It’s the same idea of “less is more” that I strive for in my Feldenkrais exercises. If we live our whole life with the same intentions that we bring to training our horses, it’s going to improve our own Spirit too.

This morning, Silk and Siete were dying to go out in the pasture after staying inside for yesterday’s snowstorm. Almost as soon as they stepped deep in over a foot of freezing, crunchy white stuff, they were ready to come inside again. I mucked quickly, spread shavings, filled water buckets and threw down a couple of flakes of hay. In less than a half hour, I asked Silk if she wanted to go home. Leading her into the barn, I could feel her Spirit singing.