In memory of Mike Nichols, a hero of mine, who died last
night at age 83:
I met Mike Nichols in his apartment at the Carlyle Hotel in
1984, and he changed my life. My best
friend, Terry Beirn, and I came there to ask Mike if he would help us do a benefit
for AIDS research at the Shubert Theatre in New York. There had never been a benefit for AIDS, and
most people did not want to know anything about the disease or talk about
it. As we sat with him, Mike said over
and over to us that he didn’t do benefits.
Finally, desperate, I said, “I don’t do benefits either, but
Terry is my best friend and he has AIDS and he’s dying, so I’ve got to do
something.” Mike looked intensely at my handsome thirty-four year old friend and began
asking him questions. For twenty minutes, Terry told Mike how he was feeling
and what he knew about the disease, which was a lot because Terry was a very smart man. There was no cure – at that point, there wasn’t even a test yet to prove you had
it. Then, Mike turned to me and said, “No one wants to hear about this. People
stick their heads in the sand. If we want them to pay attention, we are going
to have to make them laugh.”
He called on many of his friends, Lorne Michaels, Steve
Martin, David Geffen, and for the first time in twenty-five years, he performed
on-stage with Elaine May. We raised a
million dollars for AIDS research at a time when there was no money coming from
the federal government. Mike guided me, gave me confidence, always expected the
very best from me and never let me down. I teased him that he was even more of
a perfectionist than my mother, but she had given me thirty years of grooming
to prepare me to work with him. When my
first marriage ended with the abruptness of a major earthquake, Mike offered me
a small room in the basement of his office to pull myself back together again
and write a screenplay. It gave me a reason to get up every morning, and he
helped me re-build my confidence and my crumbled life with his wise advice and
humor.
And now, he is gone.
A brilliant light that has left an impact on so many creative people’s
lives. Mike had a razor sharp mind, the
courage to go where many others feared to tread and the biggest, most generous heart. It was an honor and a privilege to have him
as a mentor, and I would not be the person I am today if I had not met
him. The world has lost a shining star.
“The only safe
thing is to take a chance.”
-- Mike Nichols
7 comments:
Victoria,
To have him as a mentor...incredible. He was special and was able to help you to become special. You were in the right place at the right time...your aids benefit must have been amazing. Thank you for sharing this with us, what a loss.
Beautifully expressed, Victoria. And I have another reason to be grateful to Mike ... Bringing you into my life. A gift ... Thank you, Mike.
Cherie - WIthout Mike, we would probably not have met - One more wonderful thing that he did for me was to bring you into my life! So many great memories of working on "Comic Relief" with you and of all the fun and tribulations that I've had with you ever since, my soul sister. Love you!
Lori - Mike made everyone try to rise up to the best that you could be because he believed you could do it and you did because you wanted to prove that he was right. Not just me, but over and over as I look at the messages being posted about him - In his greatest, he inspired all of us to try harder and be better human beings.
He sounds honorable, and such a wonderful quote from him too! My sympathies for your loss.
Not many people can say a man like this was your mentor and changed your life. I'm so sorry for the personal loss of your friend. He sounds like a wonderful man.
Thank you for sharing such a personal remembrance. Sounds like Mr. Nichols was a very special friend, and a credit to the human race. So sorry for your loss.
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